Move over Captain Jack

Just when you've think you've seen about the all the weirdness the world has to offer, here comes some more fun and excitement. There seems to be a bit of a PIRATE PROBLEM off the coast of Somalia! These so called "pirates" have been terrorizing these waters for weeks now and they have actually succeeded in capturing a commercial vessel and are holding it for ransom. Just like the good old days, eh? Jesus, I know the economy is tough but, I never thought about heading out in the Gulf with a freaking shotgun in hopes of bagging me an oil freighter. That is until now!

The latest vessel to be apprehended was a Ukrainian freighter loaded with tanks, artillery, grenade launchers and ammunition. Apparently $30 million dollars in weaponry ON BOARD, was no match for Smee and company, who took the freighter by storm with a rag tag rig and a couple of shotguns.

Oh, and these modern day pirates do interviews now. Can you imagine the mighty Captain James Hook on Oprah? Not on your life! But, spokesman Sugule Ali indicated that they had just "seen a big ship", so they stopped it not realizing the bounty they had scored. (OMG, LMAO) He went on to explain the plight of the misunderstood pirates saying, “we don’t consider ourselves sea bandits. We consider sea bandits those who illegally fish in our seas and dump waste in our seas and carry weapons in our seas. We are simply patrolling our seas. Think of us like a coast guard." Hey at first glance that looks like something I could get behind. The Coast Guard, yeah! I think I kind of like these guys!!

That is until the they chased a cruise liner who had strayed a little to far into the danger zone and proceeded to fire upon the ship. Now, now, boys lets leave the Love Boat alone. As long as noone gets hurt I suppose this will be mildly entertaining for awhile.

Remember, "who is the real Barack Obama"? Pleeease; yesterday's news. Who are the real Somalia pirates? True freedom fighters??!! Or...

Are they only posers playing a game of dress up?

Just a bunch of cut ups with fake English accents?

or

Are they merely a gang of ordinary thieves, misfits and thugs minus the cool get up and breathtaking clipper ships? According to Mr. Sugule, “Somalia has suffered from many years of destruction because of all these weapons,” he said. “We don’t want that suffering and chaos to continue. We are not going to offload the weapons. We just want the money."

What was that last part? I think we may our answer me hearties, drink up!

-A