The escape

SOS!

Not much time left here... an alien force is loose on the planet. Virtually undetectable until it's too late, it invades the bloodstream, shutting down the central nervous system before migrating to the mind where senses are dulled, neurons are neutralized and synapses cease firing. Gradually victims are vaporized into a vast field of empty space.

I must move quickly or I could suffer the same fate as the others...

-end of transmission

Snakes and Arrows Live!

New DVD

I just sat down to begin watching the new Rush DVD! Snakes and Arrows Live from Holland has only just begun and it's already an explosive all out assault on my senses. Nice opening comedic bit by Alex and company, sophisticated artwork and graphic images, a crystal clear sound mix and wonderful camera perpectives capturing the band as they deliver a tasty Limelight to open the show. I am truly thankful this band has endured, and now utilizing the incredible technology of the day, we have an opportunity as fans to see these shows captured and presented to us in such a moving way.

RED ALERT, RED ALERT!

Folded like K-Mart deck chairs...

2008 Tampa Bay Bucs

"...of our elaborate plans, the end."

We wish you the best Caddy.

BBQ Buc O-U-T!

-A

War Made Easy

Documentary narrated by Sean Penn

In my imaginary world where mandatory High School curriculum includes the course Critical Thinking 101, this would be among the 1st films shown.

Grade: A+

-A

Open letter from BBQ Buc...

Since their Super Bowl, the Bucs are a dismal 9-16 in the month of December...

Gut check or gas pipe?

As a season ticket holder and loyal Buc fan, I could not be more appreciative of the Vince Lombardi trophy the team earned under coach Jon Gruden. This being the holiday season it doesn't exactly seem appropriate to publicly call for some one's professional head. Not that it would matter if "I" did it, it's only me after all.. and the Glazers will continue to run their team as they see fit. That having been said, I will have no choice but to not renew our tickets if this team completes this ghastly tank job by missing the playoffs and the present regime remains in tact.

Will the Raiders do Chucky in once and for all?

My 2 cents worth: We have a track record of mediocrity here over the past several years. It has been a roller coaster of with a few nice highs but some sickening lows, on and off the field. Although the defense has looked like a shell of its former self in recent weeks Monte Kiffin has been simply amazing throughout his tenure and to me his departure makes it even more imperative the Bucs examine long and hard the ability of their head man to galvanize an entire football team. Whether or not they decide to hand the defensive reigns to Raheem Morris remains to be seen. The defensive tradition that has long been a hallmark of this football club clearly needs to be reestablished and perhaps redefined to a certain extent. Play makers are needed on both sides of the ball and this is an especially critical time for this franchise. If we draft well over the next couple of years, I believe the transition of our team can go fairly well. We can not afford to swing and miss badly (*see 2nd round choice from '08 draft) or we will bottom out big time and it's going to be a rocky road back to the top. At first glance there may not be a plethora of splash, big name "offensive geniuses" that will grab headlines and turn the world on its side but, we've been there and done that. I'm no expert but I would hedge my bets that 2 dozen or so competent candidates would welcome the opportunity to ATTACK opposing defenses with the likes of Joey Galloway, and a motivated Antonio Bryant should either or both remain in the fold.

We need to get back to the days of continuity and credibility, somehow some way. And now, I have to go route for the freaking Eagles. Unacceptable!

BBQ Buc, out...

-A

It's Shoe Time!!

How about George freaking Junior, eh? During his final presss conference to the citizens of Iraq, he has a pair of Buster Browns whipped at his head. Iraqi journalist Muntazer al-Zaidi, halted the proceedings when he hurled two shoes at the outgoing Commander and Thief. Incidently, he missed with both attempts from point blank range. Bush's ineptitude even rubs off on would be assailants!

Admittedly, there was sensational value and some what of a comedic element to the big "shoe hurl". But not surprisingly, the bulk of the "coverage" was on the what and not on the why of what transpired. Though mainstream media was all too happy to broadcast images of the bizarre incident and the melee that ensued, little attention was given to what moved this person to risk life and limb in an outward act of aggression against the President of these here U-nited States in a room FULL of secret service suits! Al- Zaidi's outburst made it far too easy for State run television to depict him as just another one of those freakish, crazed, radical, A- rab sons-a-bitches!

For your consideration...

Al-Zaidi's words:
"this is a goodbye kiss, you dog.. This is from the widows, the orphans and those who were killed in Iraq."

Although the shoes may have missed their mark, the words hit home, regardless of whether or not they were reported on in the US. Hit home that is except for the intended target, George W B who quipped afterwards, "all I can report is, it is a size 10". Not only does he not get it, he comes off as an arrogant, horse's ass right to the end and it will take this nation a long time to live down the policies carried out under #43.

Christmas is coming... 1/20/09!


-A

Just in time for the holidays!

Admittedly, I'm having one of those ,"let me tell you about my grand children" moments but, I simply can't resist sharing a family photo!!

A photo of Lou Lou and his adorable little sister, the Tiny Terror...

Goodbye tree ornaments!!

-A

Clapton: The Autobiography

Years ago I remember walking into the music store to purchase my first electric guitar knowing EXACTLY what I wanted; the guitar that looked like Clapton's!! For decades EC has thrilled millions with his guitar wizardry and for my money he's among the top 2 or 3 guitarists of all time. So I was excited about the release of his autobiography and to be able to get his first hand perspective on the events that made up his fascinating life.

In addition to providing detailed accounts of his musical development, Clapton spends a fair amount of the time describing his emotional journey that occurred off stage, beginning with his earliest memories as a young boy. The pain he felt as a child after his mother's abandonment and rejection profoundly affected him, and would remain at the center of the substance abuse problems that would take him many years to shake.

EC candidly recalls his indulgence in hard drugs, alcohol addiction, the tragic loss of his son Conor and difficult relationships with many women before ultimately cleaning up and finding peace and love in functional family life. Clapton seems to try his level best not to glorify his drug use and the over indulgent rock n' roll lifestyle that he led. At times, some of the thoughts he conveys even seem to border on "preachy" but the author makes no apologies. "Staying sober and helping others to achieve sobriety will always be the single most important proposition in my life.

Throughout the uncertainty and confusion in his personal life, Clapton continued to deliver the musical goods. From the Yardbirds, to his most recent disc with JJ Cale (an outstanding LP by the way), it's all chronicled within these 328 pages. Even for those who have read previous books on EC like yours truly, there are new interesting and enlightening pieces of information. I had no idea for instance how much of a musical bond Eric had formed with the late great, Duane Allman during their short collaboration. "He was like the musical brother I'd never had but wished I did." Oddly enough, many years later EC toured with another of the Allman's guitar players, Derek Trucks and heaped heavy praise upon him ."Trucks' playing was stunning, like nothing I had ever heard before.. he seems to have no limit". Clapton pays homage and expresses his respect throughout the book to many other musicians that he has played with and to many of the greats that inspired him along the way.

Clapton appears to have finally found solace in his family life. And with a revamped band ready to hit the road in '09, including an 11 night Royal Albert Hall run slated for May, "Slowhand", is still going strong. Clapton: The Autobiography is a must for any holiday shopper looking for the perfect gift for the rock aficionado in their family.

-A

A Sad Day for Community Radio

From the WMNF web site:
Vicki Santa, our beloved former station manager, passed away this morning at St Joseph’s Hospital. We will provide further details as they become available.

Vicki Santa

A monumental loss for the WMNF family...

-A

December 8, 1980

You, you and you...

-For your roles in REFUSING to produce more energy efficient vehicles for US consumers, even though you sell them in other countries!!
-For spending 50 million plus dollars lobbying Congress
-For arriving in Washington DC. and emerging from private airplanes with tin cups in hand
-Then (and possibly even more egregious) for having the audacity to show up in hybrid automobiles the 2nd time your punk asses showed up with your hands out! We're supposed to believe that you actually CARE about energy, America or anything OTHER than your annual bonuses?

Welcome to the "Wet List" gentlemen...

-A

Move over Captain Jack

Just when you've think you've seen about the all the weirdness the world has to offer, here comes some more fun and excitement. There seems to be a bit of a PIRATE PROBLEM off the coast of Somalia! These so called "pirates" have been terrorizing these waters for weeks now and they have actually succeeded in capturing a commercial vessel and are holding it for ransom. Just like the good old days, eh? Jesus, I know the economy is tough but, I never thought about heading out in the Gulf with a freaking shotgun in hopes of bagging me an oil freighter. That is until now!

The latest vessel to be apprehended was a Ukrainian freighter loaded with tanks, artillery, grenade launchers and ammunition. Apparently $30 million dollars in weaponry ON BOARD, was no match for Smee and company, who took the freighter by storm with a rag tag rig and a couple of shotguns.

Oh, and these modern day pirates do interviews now. Can you imagine the mighty Captain James Hook on Oprah? Not on your life! But, spokesman Sugule Ali indicated that they had just "seen a big ship", so they stopped it not realizing the bounty they had scored. (OMG, LMAO) He went on to explain the plight of the misunderstood pirates saying, “we don’t consider ourselves sea bandits. We consider sea bandits those who illegally fish in our seas and dump waste in our seas and carry weapons in our seas. We are simply patrolling our seas. Think of us like a coast guard." Hey at first glance that looks like something I could get behind. The Coast Guard, yeah! I think I kind of like these guys!!

That is until the they chased a cruise liner who had strayed a little to far into the danger zone and proceeded to fire upon the ship. Now, now, boys lets leave the Love Boat alone. As long as noone gets hurt I suppose this will be mildly entertaining for awhile.

Remember, "who is the real Barack Obama"? Pleeease; yesterday's news. Who are the real Somalia pirates? True freedom fighters??!! Or...

Are they only posers playing a game of dress up?

Just a bunch of cut ups with fake English accents?

or

Are they merely a gang of ordinary thieves, misfits and thugs minus the cool get up and breathtaking clipper ships? According to Mr. Sugule, “Somalia has suffered from many years of destruction because of all these weapons,” he said. “We don’t want that suffering and chaos to continue. We are not going to offload the weapons. We just want the money."

What was that last part? I think we may our answer me hearties, drink up!

-A

Lyrics from Ozone...

Man alive, "Team Pewter" is 9 and 3 at the three quarter pole and this fan is psyched!

And I must say yesterday's deep fried chicken wings kicked ass! As is evidenced by my annual football season weight gain, BBQ Buc is right in step with the team and is flat out getting it done on Sunday baby!! I'm ready for the stretch run beginning with an NFC South showdown next Monday night against the dreaded "Powder Blue".

I was going through the old email box and came across this gem from Ozone. An email he entitled "Rush's Bravado rewritten! Now called, Barbeque." If you know the song, you'll get a chuckle out of these lyrics. If you don't- where in the hell have you been??!!(http://secure.showtech.com/rushbackstage/compact-discs/cd-roll-the-bones/index.html)

With apologies to Neil and the boys, here it is:

Barbeque

If we burn our wings
Trying to cook 'em well-done
From the heat of the charcoal
Forgotten in all of the fun

If the dinner's done --
Though everything is lost
We will order out
But we will not count the cost

When the smoke has cleared
And edible food denied
A burger too blackened
Chicken a little too fried
If we keep our pride
Though all the food is lost
We will order out,
But we will not count the cost

And if the fire stops
There's only the smell of the flame
All the steaks and drumsticks,
All the barbeque in vain
And if the guests remain
Though everything is lost
We will order out,
But we will not count the cost

-- Duke

(Signature line of email)
"I often wonder if religion is the enemy of God. It's almost like religion is what happens when the Spirit has left the building." -- Bono


I suspect there may be more where this came from.

-A

Black Friday

"When Black Friday comes I'm gonna stake my claim..."

I'm not sure Steely Dan had holiday shopping in mind when they penned the tune Black Friday, but the words seem to be taking on new meaning.

"When Black Friday comes I'll stand down by the door, and catch the grey men when they dive from the fourteenth floor..."

To my knowledge noone has taken a flying leap from the 14th floor... yet, but this year's festivities did feature a trampling and two shooting deaths. MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY! I can just hear it now, "get your grubby hands off that Nintendo or I'm gonna blow your ass to bits! (Pause) Blam Blam Blam!!" Every year I am rousted from a sound sleep as QJ removes herself from a perfectly warm, cozy bed at some ungodly hour to ready herself for her favorite sport- contact shopping. Mind you, Christmas to her is not mainly about gifts and the other excesses of the season. But for reasons I can't began to understand, she does truly enjoy immersing herself in the middle of the annual frenzy of foaming freaks in hot pursuit of the latest and greatest gadgets money can buy. In years past, one might expect to be on the receiving end of a curse word or two from someone while jockeying for position at the electronics counter. And it was also common place to have to keep both eyes open in case it was necessary to take evasive action to avoid being steamrolled by a grandma with attitude using her shopping cart as a weapon. Ahhh but as Americans will do, it was time to take it- lower? The trampling was predictable, sooner or later that was going to happen when you turn a mob of blood thirsty yahoos loose in a Super Wal Mart; there are bound to be problems. But opening fire inside a freaking Toys R Us? Now that was something!

Next year the Queen is not leaving without a bullet proof vest!!

Mark my words, we're on our way to pat downs and metal detectors if this craziness continues.

And I will be watching from afar.

-A

Happy Thanksgiving...

A glorious day in T- town!

I am so thankful for my family and friends who mean the world to me. I often contemplate how lucky I am to have such wonderful people in my life. Now seems like a good time to say it loud and proud. All the best y'all .. much love!

I am also most grateful that perhaps the worst regime in American history is finally nearing the end of the line. Sadly, yesterday's tragic events in India serve as a stark reminder that due to the imperialistic foreign policy approach that we have employed, anti American sentiment seems to have reached an all time high and real change is in order moving ahead. While George W was pardoning his last turkey and paying lip service to the country he's left battered beyond recognition, the President and 1st lady elect were on the South side Chicago handing out bags of food to teach their girls the true meaning of the holiday.

Bush even had the audacity to "thank the American people for the tremendous privilege of serving as president". Really? Sure fooled us! But, as I read the AP story about the Obamas in the St. Pete Times this morning I felt and enormous sense of pride that this time, I think we've gotten it right. Time will tell of course but, it sure is nice to have some hope during these tough times.

-A

Howdy, I'm Jack Asshole Harris

I was out retrieving supplies this morning and I had the misfortune to tune into 970WFLA's morning shit-show starring local Tampa fuckstain Jack Harris. In his "election rehash", Jack's opinion was that if John McCain had reintroduced Jeremiah Wright into his campaign dialogue in the last few weeks before the election, the tide would have turned against Obama, and Grandpa McFuckstick would've won the election. I shit you not. I heard it with my own hairy Irish ears. I wish I could quote this insipid, scrotum-faced announcer, but I was too busy screaming and bouncing my head off the steering wheel to remeber it word for word. Trust me, that's what he said. How his studio mates put up with this sort of idiocy on a daily basis is beyond me.

I've had enough of Jack Harris. This drooling submental has been stinking up our airwaves for decades with his douchey, half-assed "opinions". Now, I can't realistically expect much in the way of intelligent radio discourse from the station that airs Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity, but come on now 970, Jack Harris makes Moe from the Three Stooges look like Stephen Fucking Hawking. By the Jeremiah Wright comment alone, you just know this asshole is a Republican. I guess that's why he still has a job after all these years.

Enough already. Howdy, Jack Harris, you're on the WET LIST, you chinless, burbling motherfucker. ~Ozone

MRF MIA

This just in: an All Points Bulletin is being issued throughout the farthest reaches of the galaxy. The MRF blog has experienced the mother of all meltdowns and there appears to be only one survivor.

Suspiciously the darkness began shortly after the blog seemed to have gotten its legs about it and was about ready for public consumption. I fear the worst may have happened!

Consider the final transmissions of the Big 3:

Nanook-
"Watched Big Joe wipe the floor with a fresh Hockey Mom mop tonight..."
"Way to go, wild woman of the North, you can fake emotional talking points like the best of your party."

Roame-
"McCain's solution to ease the price at the pump? More domestic drilling. That's like sticking a piece of chewing gum in a leaking dike and hoping it holds. McCain doesn't stir hope in me, just more apprehension and anxiety."

Ozone-
"Finally, after 8 horrid years of right-wing destruction, there is hope for this noble experiment we call the United States of America."

Perhaps their words were ascertained by one of the Bush/Cheney super spy computers and these voices of dissent were subsequently blasted out of the blogosphere and beamed into oblivion never to be heard from again!!

I will continue to leave the light on for my dearly departed brothers in hopes that they may one day find their way back through the storm. This is not the final chapter

-A

Would you just go away already?!?!

You, Todd, Willow, Piper, Pecker and your soon to be son in law... just go!

Here's the link to the Palin Turkey Pardon fiasco, in case you missed it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IuZAo41vf1E.

There really aren't words to describe this woman.

She is the lesser half of a tandem that received how many tens of millions of votes for the highest office in the land. Why? What the HELL were those people thinking?????????????????????????

Can you imagine this train wreck representing us upon the world's stage?

Holy sweet Jesus!

-A

November5.org

This is a non partisan effort and is worth checking out.

Here's the link:
http://vimeo.com/2156858

"American history has shown only when the people organize and focus on their government do we get any changes".

-Ralph Nader

Late,
A

Missing Person Report...

Wanted: Favorite player MUST be returned to One Buc Palace ASAP! NO questions asked.

Who are you and what have you done with Ronde Barber?

Description: shut down corner with miraculous ball hawking skills and a knack for big plays (see Eagles pick @ bottom of page). A sure tackler with a vast knowledge of the game and nasty on field disposition. Enjoys inflicting psychological torment and physical pain on the opposition and is known as one of the best corner blitzers in NFL history.

Last seen: 2007 season

Suspects & motive: In an effort to maintain their competitive advantage at all costs against NFC foes, the New York football Giants are under suspicion for kidnapping Ronde, holding him at an undisclosed location and replacing him with twin brother Tiki.

A generous reward has been issued by Montague Kiffin of Tampa, Florida for Ronde's return.

"Give me back my Ronde!"

Sincerely,

Mel Gibson

-A

Shit canned!

It's official! The Lighting are once again one of the biggest jokes in the NHL.

Bolts fizzle versus the mighty Wings...

Almost 20 games into the season and there's virtually nothing happening on the Hockey Post largely due to the fact the home team has struggled mightily. It was more of the same at the Forum Thursday night as the Bolts, with a little help from the guys in striped shirts, blew a 2 goal lead and lost 4-3 to the defending Stanley Cup Champion Red Wings. After being introduced as the Lightning's new head coach Barry Melrose went on record saying he wanted his team to be tough to play against and so far they've been anything but. They've struggled to find continuity and seem to be sorely lacking the "courage" Melrose said he expected to be a hallmark of this club. They have found some degree of consistency however. The Lightning are consistently being out shot, outworked (giving up 39 shots on goal against Detroit while putting a measly 18 shots against Chris Osgood) and have consistently snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. The Bolts gave their fans a little dose of what was to come after tanking the home opener against Carolina and have proved that they are quite capable of pulling some epic choke jobs. I'm no expert but it seems as though maybe NOW would be a good time to start getting this thing straightened out here. Sitting 13th out of 15 teams in the Eastern Conference flat out sucks. This is moving beyond the stage of "a work in progress" and is looking like they could be "DOA" by Christmas if they can't get things aren't ironed out in a hurry. They'll get another crack at the Canes in their barn this weekend. And I do mean barn; their Zamboni is modeled after a freaking John Deer lawn tractor! Not even in our days at the Fair Grounds were we that po-dunk!!

Where's Chris Kontos when we need him?

"Game on!"

-A

Edit:

There 's been a slight development.

Please refer to new post.

Thank you,

Management

Celebrating Scorpio...

Whatchaaaaaaa!!!!

After enjoying a wonderful Mediterranean dinner at Byblos (belly dancer and all) we made a South side swing by Mad Dogs before heading over to Four Green Fields to meet up with the rest of the gang who had been over at Lime imbibing towers of beer. Needless to say we really put a cap on things at the Fields.

Here are some pics:

The Queen and his Roameness...

Ozone, Dickey & Axis (aka the dork on the right)

Roame and the coolest Aquarian, his lovely bride...

All the birthday Scorps up on the stage with Pat...

Classic stuff; enjoyed it y'all!

Much love,

A

Dear Santa...

Apparently riding a euphoric wave over having voted for the winning candidate in his school's Presidential Election, a certain 7 year old figured that while he was hot he'd go to work on his Christmas list. Seemingly under the impression that since things were going oh so well, gifts would surely begin to magically fall out of the sky and he proceeded to bang out an impressive short list, just for starters mind you.

Observe the Boy Wonder's wish list which I have transcribed below:

Dear Santa,

For Christmas I want a go cart and I-touch and Madden '09 and MLB '09. I want catcher's gear for baseball. A coke machine. Season tickets for the Rays and going in the dugout and be the ball boy.

Did you get all that? That was go cart, I-touch, Madden and MLB '09 and catcher's gear. Well, a few of those are possibilities. But a freaking COKE MACHINE? Just what we need, the young lad all jacked up on and endless supply of sugar and caffeine. I wonder if he considered the logistical challenges of trying to get a sled up into full flight with a gigantic Coke Machine on board before making his request? Doubt it. Nevermind trying to fit that bitch down the chimney! And then there are the Rays tix. Not just tickets to a game or maybe a couple of games... oh no, not blondie. SEASON tickets Jack! I didn't even know what a season ticket was until I was 22 years old. Amazing. And I wasn't aware that Santa is in the business of delivering people employment opportunities. I can't remember the last time I saw ball boy on the Career Builder web site but you can't blame a kid for trying.

You gotta love um!

-A

Howdy, I'm Jack Harris... douchebag

I was out retrieving supplies this morning and I had the misfortune to tune into 970WFLA's morning shit-show starring local Tampa fuckstain Jack Harris. In his "election rehash", Jack's opinion was that if John McCain had reintroduced Jeremiah Wright into his campaign dialogue in the last few weeks before the election, the tide would have turned against Obama, and Grandpa McFuckstick would've won the election. I shit you not. I heard it with my own hairy Irish ears. I wish I could quote this insipid, scrotum-faced announcer, but I was too busy screaming and bouncing my head off the steering wheel to remeber it word for word. Trust me, that's what he said. How his studio mates put up with this sort of idiocy on a daily basis is beyond me.

I've had enough of Jack Harris. This drooling submental has been stinking up our airwaves for decades with his douchey, half-assed "opinions". Now, I can't realistically expect much in the way of intelligent radio discourse from the station that airs Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity, but come on now 970, Jack Harris makes Moe from the Three Stooges look like Stephen Fucking Hawking. By the Jeremiah Wright comment alone, you just know this asshole is a Republican. I guess that's why he still has a job after all these years.

Enough already. Howdy, Jack Harris, you're on the WET LIST, you chinless, burbling motherfucker. ~Ozone

Finally!

Finally, after 8 horrid years of right-wing destruction, there is hope for this noble experiment we call the United States of America. After 21 months (the longest political campaign in US history), the people have spoken. Well, the Electoral College has spoken, but you get the point. America is a republic, not a democracy. Still, the people, especially the young people, the minority people, turned out in droves in an effort to right the course of this nation. They never voted in significant numbers before, but tonight we witnessed a sea change - a realization from within. For once, they cared enough and believed enough. They came to the realization that they actually have a stake in this country after all. And it made all the difference. See what happens when you vote?




I spoke to Brothers Roame, Nanook and Axis on the phone throughout the night as it all went down. There was a real sense of joy and excitement, a real feeling of, dare i say it? HOPE. It is a night I will never forget. From the bright faces of the crowd in Grant Park greeting President-Elect Barack Obama, to the sour, booing faces of the venemous McCain supporters in Arizona, to the teeming crowds at the very gates of the White House, my eyes were filled with indelible images that will mark in history the very fabric of this nation as it stands tonight, for ill and for better. I have never loved my country more than I have this night. The very idea of America is renewed. ~ OZONE

Sweeping Generalizations...

The McCain/Palin Constituency: A photo essay in 3 parts

Constituent #1

"SG" name: "Thurston Howell IV"

Income bracket: $250K+

Residence: Coastal communities/ gated subdivisions (Home= 4200 sq. ft under air)

Favorite magazine: Forbes
Prized possessions: 54' Hatteras Convertible Sport Fisher, bright red Ferrari Enzo F60, brand new set of custom fitted Callaway golf clubs
Periodontal profile: a full compliment of 32 teeth (professionally whitened of course)
Ideological slogan: "Drill Baby Drill!"
Commentary: As much as I dislike it, I get it. Voting is purely a business decision; as always, its about the almighty dollar for the Howells

Constituent #2

"SG" name: Pammy Pious

Income bracket: $30K+

Residence: Middle Town USA

Favorite magazine: Faith & Family

Prized possession: Blessed mother Virgin Mary statue in side garden, lawn jockey in back yard
Periodontal profile: ranges from 25+ coffee stained choppers to ill fitting, lipstick smeared dentures
Ideological slogan: "Sarah Palin is filled with the holy spirit!"
Commentary: Say it with me genius once and for all... you are NOT Joe the Plumber!!!

Constituent #3

"SG" name: Joe 12 Pack

Income bracket: tough to determine due to odd jobs under the table; over/under is around $6K

Residence: inhabits predominantly Caucasian locales

Favorite magazine: Guns & Ammo
Prized possession: King of the Hill starter kit (wife beater, case of Alamo beer, carton of generic menthols and the latest version of Boomhauer's English for Dummies)
Periodontal profile: roughly 7 and a half chic lets per person
Ideological slogan: "I ain't votin' for no nigra.."

Commentary: Don't you just love this precious little tree ornament?!

I know I know, "Heritage NOT Hate", right? Unfortunately, deep rooted bigotry will likely compel many to vote against their own socio economic well being.

Be afraid, be very afraid!

-A

*please note that sweeping generalizations are for entertainment purposes ONLY and are not part of a healthy. well balanced life style. :)

Moved QJ's studio this weekend...

MRF on the move:

Roame in Hank's bed (Ozone @ the wheel)...

Roame catching a few winks at the stop light...

A beautiful sight after a hard day's work...

Annnnnnd GONE!!

-A

I just got a text from Sylvester...

Roame must've been feeling a little claustrophobic in the cubicle and decided to sneak off to take this gem in the company lavatory. (Thanks for not giving us a true action shot Roamie!) If this little stress reliever doesn't work, you can always try chasing your tail or batting little paper balls around the office. Remember though, under no circumstances are you too cough up any hairballs or spray the boss' desk. Ssss'uferinnn' succotash...

Happy Halloween boys!

-A

Don't forget about the Planet Band

It won't be long now, Lads. You remember, don't you? You remember these guys, right? For this particular MRFer it's been a crazy journey that began in 1983. 26 years ago. I'm 41 now. Been through a lot since then. I never lost faith in these guys. I love this band with all my heart.

Yeah, you guys remember. Sure you do. How could you forget?

"And I miss you when you're not around; I'm getting ready to leave the ground."

Are you ready to leave the ground?

"Oooooo ooo ooo oo oo! Oh - you look so beautiful -- tonight! In the City of Blinding Lights."

"Look ugly in a photograph."

Yeah, I'm smiling now as the Planet Band roars through my speakers. Are you ready? Are you ready to leave the ground?

We're going to have to fight one more time. Fight for those tickets. Yeah. But we're wiser now. Older now, yeah? Tougher. Smarter. Are you ready? Do you care about U2? I'm in for one more go-round. I hope you guys are too. Get ready. 2009. New U2.

"Time won't leave me as I am
Time won't take the boy out of this man."

~OZONE

Man at Work

Should Volume 2 of the great baseball novel, Men at Work ever be written, George Will needn't look any further than this year's American League Manager of the Year Joe Maddon, to be the centerpiece of the managerial section. To get a glimpse into the game as seen through the eyes of Tampa Bay Rays' skipper would no doubt provide readers with incredible insight to the great game of baseball. Heck Joe, I know you're a little busy right now but, you may want to consider writing one yourself; it would be an absolute delight for true fans.

Maddon's rise to the pinnacle of his profession was anything but meteoric. His story is classic Americana: born and raised in a working class family in Hazleton Pennsylvania, he excelled in baseball and football. He accepted a full scholarship to Lafayette College, where in addition to his athletic pursuits, he majored in economics and developed a "voracious" appetite for reading. After graduating in 1976 he begin his playing career as a catcher in the minor leagues for the California Angels' system, an organization where he would spend an incredible 31 years. Maddon was a huge part of the Angels' success and in 2002, they finally won it all with Joe Maddon serving as the team's bench coach.

Maddon earned a reputation for having a keen intellect and meticulous organizational skills. He was also widely regarded as one of the game's great teachers and in 2004 the Rays brass was convinced that he was the right man to lead their fledgling ball club. Immediately upon touching down in the bay area, he knew he had his work cut out for him. "There was no trust. It had all the symptoms of being a bad organization." The Rays struggled mightily in his first two seasons at the helm and last year as the losses mounted, afternoon drive hot heads began railing against him. Maddon remained cool, composed and stayed the course and to their credit, the Rays management had his back. While the changes Maddon and his staff were engineering didn't immediately translate into wins on the field, the club's collective mindset was undergoing a radical transformation and would soon begin to pay dividends. When the team hit the field for Spring Training this year, he told them they were good enough to make the playoffs and they responded by becoming one of the best rags to riches story in the history of Major League Baseball. As his former boss, Angels' manager Mike Scioscia told the NY Times, "I’m not surprised at what’s happening over there, because Joe has done this before... even though he wasn’t managing with us, he was always an organizational builder.”



Baseball is a thinking person's game and statistical analysis is certainly nothing new. But, in my opinion it is the unique way that Maddon looks at and interprets that data that make him a baseball visionary. "I get so annoyed when you get around a lot of baseball people and basically all they can do is regurgitate previous thoughts," says Maddon. "They don't think of anything original. Tell me a better way." While in Anaheim he introduced spray charts, developed managerial tracking methods, and invented the concept of "Jug Stats" (going for the other team's jugular to put a game out of reach). Executing a bunt, advancing ruuners from first to third, two out RBI's are examples of jug stats. "Exhibit A" occurred during Game 2 of the World Series when Rocco Baldelli hustled down the line to beat out a double play, which kept the inning alive and resulted in one more run for the Rays. Huge JUG RUN! Maddon's calculated, empirical and innovative approach to baseball are only part of his success.



The simple truth is there is a real character behind those rockin' boxey specs that he sports. His players like him AND he has earned their respect. What's not to like about a guy who cranks up the Boss while he fills out his lineup cards? A noted wine enthusiast, he keeps the wine rack in his office stocked with his favorite vintages and calmy enjoys his vino while giving interviews. And what about that crazy silver fo'hawk? "I wanted to keep the clubhouse loose and show the unifying aspect.” When you watch the Rays play, you get the sense that there is a genuine chemistry that exists in the clubhouse and Joe Maddon is at the center of it. "The guy went to the World Series in '02, and he's back in '08 as a manager," right fielder Jonny Gomes said. "I think that speaks for itself." James Shields told the NY Times, “he’s very calm, quiet and trusting... he allows us to police ourselves. Sometimes, you have a manager who yells at you every night, but he doesn’t do that. He’ll sit you down and talk to you and teach you.” High praise indeed.

This year has been one of wonder for Rays' fans and the ride's not over just yet. It may have been a long wait for Joe Maddon, but it was certainly has been well worth it. “I believed it would happen.. I believed I would get my shot someday and that this was something I could definitely do." You've earned your stripes Joe, now it's time to annoint you with an official MRF name which I'm sure will be the highlight of your season. I've come up with a few suggestions that I'd like to submit for consideration. How about, King Joe? The Merlot Master? Joe cool. Wait, I got it: Captain Ray Hawk! In the spirit of an open and fair democratic process this election season, I'll leave it up to my bloggy brothers to decide. Rock on Joseph John Maddon Junior, rock on...

Go Rays!!

-A