I just got a text from Sylvester...

Roame must've been feeling a little claustrophobic in the cubicle and decided to sneak off to take this gem in the company lavatory. (Thanks for not giving us a true action shot Roamie!) If this little stress reliever doesn't work, you can always try chasing your tail or batting little paper balls around the office. Remember though, under no circumstances are you too cough up any hairballs or spray the boss' desk. Ssss'uferinnn' succotash...

Happy Halloween boys!

-A

Don't forget about the Planet Band

It won't be long now, Lads. You remember, don't you? You remember these guys, right? For this particular MRFer it's been a crazy journey that began in 1983. 26 years ago. I'm 41 now. Been through a lot since then. I never lost faith in these guys. I love this band with all my heart.

Yeah, you guys remember. Sure you do. How could you forget?

"And I miss you when you're not around; I'm getting ready to leave the ground."

Are you ready to leave the ground?

"Oooooo ooo ooo oo oo! Oh - you look so beautiful -- tonight! In the City of Blinding Lights."

"Look ugly in a photograph."

Yeah, I'm smiling now as the Planet Band roars through my speakers. Are you ready? Are you ready to leave the ground?

We're going to have to fight one more time. Fight for those tickets. Yeah. But we're wiser now. Older now, yeah? Tougher. Smarter. Are you ready? Do you care about U2? I'm in for one more go-round. I hope you guys are too. Get ready. 2009. New U2.

"Time won't leave me as I am
Time won't take the boy out of this man."

~OZONE

Man at Work

Should Volume 2 of the great baseball novel, Men at Work ever be written, George Will needn't look any further than this year's American League Manager of the Year Joe Maddon, to be the centerpiece of the managerial section. To get a glimpse into the game as seen through the eyes of Tampa Bay Rays' skipper would no doubt provide readers with incredible insight to the great game of baseball. Heck Joe, I know you're a little busy right now but, you may want to consider writing one yourself; it would be an absolute delight for true fans.

Maddon's rise to the pinnacle of his profession was anything but meteoric. His story is classic Americana: born and raised in a working class family in Hazleton Pennsylvania, he excelled in baseball and football. He accepted a full scholarship to Lafayette College, where in addition to his athletic pursuits, he majored in economics and developed a "voracious" appetite for reading. After graduating in 1976 he begin his playing career as a catcher in the minor leagues for the California Angels' system, an organization where he would spend an incredible 31 years. Maddon was a huge part of the Angels' success and in 2002, they finally won it all with Joe Maddon serving as the team's bench coach.

Maddon earned a reputation for having a keen intellect and meticulous organizational skills. He was also widely regarded as one of the game's great teachers and in 2004 the Rays brass was convinced that he was the right man to lead their fledgling ball club. Immediately upon touching down in the bay area, he knew he had his work cut out for him. "There was no trust. It had all the symptoms of being a bad organization." The Rays struggled mightily in his first two seasons at the helm and last year as the losses mounted, afternoon drive hot heads began railing against him. Maddon remained cool, composed and stayed the course and to their credit, the Rays management had his back. While the changes Maddon and his staff were engineering didn't immediately translate into wins on the field, the club's collective mindset was undergoing a radical transformation and would soon begin to pay dividends. When the team hit the field for Spring Training this year, he told them they were good enough to make the playoffs and they responded by becoming one of the best rags to riches story in the history of Major League Baseball. As his former boss, Angels' manager Mike Scioscia told the NY Times, "I’m not surprised at what’s happening over there, because Joe has done this before... even though he wasn’t managing with us, he was always an organizational builder.”



Baseball is a thinking person's game and statistical analysis is certainly nothing new. But, in my opinion it is the unique way that Maddon looks at and interprets that data that make him a baseball visionary. "I get so annoyed when you get around a lot of baseball people and basically all they can do is regurgitate previous thoughts," says Maddon. "They don't think of anything original. Tell me a better way." While in Anaheim he introduced spray charts, developed managerial tracking methods, and invented the concept of "Jug Stats" (going for the other team's jugular to put a game out of reach). Executing a bunt, advancing ruuners from first to third, two out RBI's are examples of jug stats. "Exhibit A" occurred during Game 2 of the World Series when Rocco Baldelli hustled down the line to beat out a double play, which kept the inning alive and resulted in one more run for the Rays. Huge JUG RUN! Maddon's calculated, empirical and innovative approach to baseball are only part of his success.



The simple truth is there is a real character behind those rockin' boxey specs that he sports. His players like him AND he has earned their respect. What's not to like about a guy who cranks up the Boss while he fills out his lineup cards? A noted wine enthusiast, he keeps the wine rack in his office stocked with his favorite vintages and calmy enjoys his vino while giving interviews. And what about that crazy silver fo'hawk? "I wanted to keep the clubhouse loose and show the unifying aspect.” When you watch the Rays play, you get the sense that there is a genuine chemistry that exists in the clubhouse and Joe Maddon is at the center of it. "The guy went to the World Series in '02, and he's back in '08 as a manager," right fielder Jonny Gomes said. "I think that speaks for itself." James Shields told the NY Times, “he’s very calm, quiet and trusting... he allows us to police ourselves. Sometimes, you have a manager who yells at you every night, but he doesn’t do that. He’ll sit you down and talk to you and teach you.” High praise indeed.

This year has been one of wonder for Rays' fans and the ride's not over just yet. It may have been a long wait for Joe Maddon, but it was certainly has been well worth it. “I believed it would happen.. I believed I would get my shot someday and that this was something I could definitely do." You've earned your stripes Joe, now it's time to annoint you with an official MRF name which I'm sure will be the highlight of your season. I've come up with a few suggestions that I'd like to submit for consideration. How about, King Joe? The Merlot Master? Joe cool. Wait, I got it: Captain Ray Hawk! In the spirit of an open and fair democratic process this election season, I'll leave it up to my bloggy brothers to decide. Rock on Joseph John Maddon Junior, rock on...

Go Rays!!

-A

Ozone watches the Rays in the World Series - Game One

8 p.m. Game One of the 104th World Series was listed as starting at 8 p.m. When I read that, I expected the first pitch to be thrown at 8 p.m. I'm obviously naive. I live in a delusional American wonderland that probably never existed. Why should a game start at 8 p.m., as advertised? When my work schedule says I should arrive at 8 o'clock, as advertised, why should I show up at 8 to begin work? Why can't I show up at 8:39? I'd say, "Boss, I had some pre-work ceremonies to go through. I had to eliminate some free radicals and bop my baloney. Then I had to watch the first 20 minutes of Golden Girls, but I'm here now. Let the games begin!" Interesting how that wouldn't fly in the real world. Yet it flies on Fox. It's fine with MLB. Silly Ozone.

8:29 p.m. Go ahead MLB, you greedy bastards. Go ahead and start this game at 8:30 at night. There's no chance any kids can stay up late and watch this on a school night. But that doesn't matter. Only network TV ratings and ad revenue matters. And we wonder why we don't see kids playing pick-up baseball games in the park anymore. So, go ahead, cut your future fan base right off at the knees, you horrible swine. Remember the days when there were World Series games played during the day? Yeah, sure you do. You just don't care.

8:34 p.m. Wait, Fox! Don't start the game yet. Surely you can fit in another commercial break! It's ok if the game runs until 1 in the goddamned morning. I need State Farm insurance. Or is it an Apple iPhone? Ooo! A Volcano Taco from Taco Bell. I want it all! Gobble gobble!

8:35 p.m. Called it! More commercials! I knew you wouldn't let me down FOX. This is fantastic. Baseball fever! Catch it! Well, you'll have to wait until the commercials are over, then you can catch it.

8:39 p.m. The actual first pitch, a fastball strike by Scott Kazmir. Wow. This just boils my fucking potatoes.

Look, little Timmy, the World Series is on! But you can only watch two innings and then it's bed time for you. It's a school night. Sorry son! Not to mention all the young girls out there who love baseball too. Where do you network/ad mooks think our world-dominating, gold medal-winning softball teams come from? A fucking clone chamber? Do you think they'd rather see the World Series in jagged, snark-ridden SportsCenter highlights, or live on TV? Wake up!

Mid-game (time unknown) I just watched a Fox Fuck interview a Taco Bell executive in the stands. I am not kidding. Yes, Taco Bell is sponsoring the World Series! I would have never guessed! Why is this douchebag being interviewed? Are you kidding me? Does he have special insight on JP Howell's breaking ball? Are Chalupas and Volcano Tacos half-off tonight? Why do I live in Bizarro World? Dios Mio!





Post game:

Well, the Phillies brought their ace, and he was a bloody monster. I saw so much sick pitching tonight, I just don't know where to start. Our "ace", Scott Kazmir, did fairly well, but the Phillies hit him good and plenty. Kaz walked lots of batters, too. Sweet Maltus, aren't walks just infuriating? Och, they sting. Still, pretty damn good job Kaz. If only the bats could have come more alive against that nasty Phillies pitching.

The Rays rallied, as they always do, but the Phillies are a sound baseball team. Excellent defense. The double plays they turned were especially impressive. That being said, FUCK PHILADELPHIA and all their so-called "fans." You're a bunch of cheese-steak, Bud Light drooling barbarians. Enjoy your narrow escape tonight, troglodytes, for the deadly sting of the Ray hangs above you like the Sword of Damocles, and you will feel its lethal death-zap, just as Steve Irwin did on the Barrier Reef.

The Rays showed up, and I absolutely loved watching BJ Upton gun down that Philly Fuck-Face (name not important) at home plate. Excellent throw BJ! That was gorgeous baseball there. Zobrist made a nice catch in right as well, and I was so happy to not see Gabe Gross out there. The Sandaled Messiah can only take you so far in baseball, Mr. Gross.

Our cornerstone Ray, Carl Crawford, whacked a crucial home run, and that's always great to see. Carl is one of our most beloved players.




Our Japanese sensation, Aki Iwamura, was stellar in the lead-off spot. He went 3 for 4 tonight, including a double. This guy has become a real bright spot for the Rays, and he's a joy to watch.




The Rays pitching was pretty decent. The bullpen did well. Balfour was his usual mean, nasty self, throwing at the Phillies batters high and tight on more than one occasion. It's always nice to have a nasty prick on your team, especially an Australian!

The umpires missed a clear balk, but that's going to happen. I don't believe in replay in baseball, and Umpire errors, like injuries, are just things good teams have to overcome.

Final score? 3-2. That was a stoater, right ScotsLass? Two great teams going head to head. I can't wait for Game Two. Too bad millions of children had to go to bed and miss this stellar example of championship baseball. What a shame.

Rankin Bass? Rank n' File!

Members of the Rank and File...

questioning authority since the days of zaaa dungoeonnnn!

-A

Get It Right!

Directed and Produced by: Dorothy Fadiman

Genre: Documentary, 2008

The Queen and I attended a WMNF screening of Stealing America: Vote by Vote at the historic Beach Theatre. Being able to attend an important film in this historic theatre (est. 1939) benefiting "the greatest little radio station on Planet Earth" (http://www.wmnf.org/) was too good to pass up. That having been said, clearly I have to improve on date night. We spent a good portion of the last flick we saw together, Body of War (http://www.bodyofwar.com/) fighting back tears as we watched the story of Tomas Young, a combat veteran who was tragically paralyzed after taking a bullet to his spine less than 1 week after arriving in Iraq. Yes, maybe one of these days, I'll have to take this lovely lady to a comedy or something. When is Jennifer Anniston's next movie coming out? How about old reliable Hugh Grant? What's that lazy ass Costner doing these days?

Stealing America takes a no nonsense, direct approach in its examination of some of the events that have transpired over the last decade to create a cloud of suspicion that currently envelops the electoral process in this country. The film combines raw data, statistical analysis, eye witness accounts, professional opinions and sworn testimony to present the argument that in all likelihood, an untold number of votes have been compromised in many states over the last several elections. Some of the anomalies, as they are referred to in the film include, voting machine and server “malfunctions”, purged voter rolls, vote switching, machine shortages in predominantly urban areas (I’m sure this was merely a coincidence) and perhaps the granddaddy of them all Diebold! Yes Diebold, the touch screen kingpin that has maintained a virtual stranglehold on voting technology and who incidentally has been a major contributor to the GOP.

There is a lot of information packed into 90 minutes and unfortunately, it barely scratches the surface. This is fairly new territory in America and although there are people hard at work trying to bring some much needed transparency to the process, there is a long way to go before the vote is returned to the people. Not surprisingly touch screen giants have been especially guarded and less than forthcoming when pressed for answers to which I say, "pull the plug on those sons-a-bitches"! Give me a pregnant chad any day of the week. In fact, take a week (or 2) to count ALL of the votes IN PUBLIC and get it right. Screw this business of Fox, CNN and whoever else trying to project and predict results before the final vote count is in. This isn't derby day or two for one well night at the local dog track. Get it right!

It's outrageous. What the hell happened? How did we get here? Is this really occurring here, in the United States of America? This is unacceptable. Put the coffee on ladies and gentlemen and count um’ up one by one. Get it right!!

-A

A Confederacy of Dunces

The Buccaneers organization decided to honor a most deserving Mike Alstott with a ceremony at Sunday night's game against the Seawhawks. After all Mike Alstott has done for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Tampa Bay area at large, after all the thrilling football moments, after all the hours of time dedicated to helping those less fortunate than himself, it was time to publicly thank a local legend. Great idea, and long overdue, but

DO YOU THINK YOU COULD HAVE SPELLED HIS FUCKING NAME RIGHT ON HIS COMMEMORATIVE JERSEY? IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK, YOU GODDAMNED SUBMENTALS?! ALSOTT? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

We live in Gooberville. Buccaneers front office? Welcome to the Wet List. ~Ozone.

EDIT: It has been brought to my attention in comments, and also by Roame via the telephone, that the jersey misspelling was intentional at the ceremony. Regardless, the joke was in poor taste, and it's certainly not funny. The misspelling on Mike's first game day jersey is forgiveable, but to resurrect this little bit of so-called hilarity during his ceremony is ham-handed and stupid. This smells like the work of the Glazer Bobsey twins. You two mooks, your Amish father, and the rest of the Bucs front office shall remain on the Wet List until you are dethroned by a fresh bag of douchiness. Ozone has spoken.

Al Austin, World-classless asshole

Al Austin, prominent real estate developer and high-level Republican fund raiser from right here in Tampa apparently was emailed a really funny joke about an airplane blowing up carrying Michelle and Barack Obama with the punch line " it certainly wouldn't be a great loss, and it probably wouldn't be an accident either." According to funny man Al, he forwarded it to his list of political contacts without fully reading the joke. (So not only are you not funny, Al but you're a fucking liar too.) On his list were a couple of reporters which is why the story was in the Tribune on Thursday, Oct. 16th. You're a real funny guy, Al and those folks on your buddy list must be real fuckin' comedians too. Your little Republican fundraising parties must be a real hoot. That joke would've been funnier if you were on that plane. Tell you what, leave the jokes to the real comedians and try and concentrate on fixing that train wreck you call a political party. Too bad all that money you make can't buy you some class, loser. Congratulations, Al. You're my first entry on the Wet List. Dumb-ass!!!!

Rush On, MRF Brothers

It's late my brothers. I'm down in the basement of my home on Skywood Lane. Everyone has gone to bed. I've had my last Alaskan for the evening. My iPod plays a selection of my favorites: Jack Johnson, Rush, Govt Mule, Widespread Panic, U2 . . .

I think back on a day filled with loved ones: family calls and video connections talking about the current state of affiars, how everyone is doing, the usual, everyday banter. These are the moments that make up our lives, as they slide by us. It's painful at times to think how fleeting personal connections can be. I find myself clutching tightly to the most mundane details, bacause I know once it's gone . . . that's it.

I miss you guys, but mostly I miss the days we had years ago. I miss the laughter, live shows, pranks, beers and burgers in seedy bars, and general tom foolery. I know we'll have times together again, but those "Blue House" and "Vasconia" days are gone forever.

We have the MRF blog to keep them alive. Let's do it then, shall we?

"Our lives are frittered away by detail. Simplify, simplify, simplify . . . "

- Thoreau

Lake Louise - Canadian Rockies

Nanook and family standing tall amongst the majesty of the Canadian Rockies. Lake Louise in the background, further back are the Rockies, stark against an overcast sky. This is by far the most amazing country I have ever seen. I felt transported to another world entirely. Fresh air, open roads uncluttered by traffic, massive forest stretching up 18k ft mountain sides. Right there in front of us as we drove through Alberta, Canada.

If you ever have a chance to traverse this North American paradise, don't hesitate to hit the open road.

-Nantravel

Yahweh

In light of the darkness and pessimism of current times, I find comfort in this new classic U2 song. I'm blessed to be surrounded by people I love in this life, to have their company, and to share their happiness. I'm grateful I have the insight to see we need more patience, compassion and love in this life. We need a good deal more. All the more reason this election year is the most important of our lifetimes.

-N.

Yahweh

Take these shoes, Click clacking down some dead end street

Take these shoes, And make them fit

Take this shirt, Polyester white trash made in nowhere

Take this shirt, And make it clean, clean

Take this soul, Stranded in some skin and bones

Take this soul, And make it sing

Yahweh, Yahweh, Always pain before a child is born

Yahweh, Yahweh, Still I’m waiting for the dawn

Take these hands, Teach them what to carry

Take these hands, Don’t make a fist

Take this mouth, So quick to criticise

Take this mouth, Give it a kiss

Yahweh, Yahweh Always pain before a child is born

Yahewh, Yahweh Still I’m waiting for the dawn

Still waiting for the dawn

The sun is coming up, The sun is coming up on the ocean

This love is like a drop in the ocean

This love is like a drop in the ocean

Yahweh, Yahweh Always pain before a child is born

Yahweh, tell me now, Why the dark before the dawn?

Take this city, A city should be shining on a hill

Take this city, If it be your will

What no man can own, no man can take

Take this heart, Take this heart

Take this heart, And make it break

Drools gets Stuck in a Moment

This is our third daughter. Her name is Drools and she gets the U2 vibe. Drools inquires about the new U2 album every day. She thirsts for that ringing Edge guitar, those pounding Mullen drums, Adam's thundering bass and Bono's passionate, soaring vocals.

-Nanrock

Needles in my Eyes

21 Jan 2004 - from the Woodenhawk Circle archive.

Nanook here. Getting to know my neighbors has never been an activity I've relished. The banal chit-chat, the endless talk about the weather and what goes on at work - it's enough to make me want to shoot myself. All people have flaws, but my neighbor's flaws really stand out. After day-in, day-out exposure to these mind numbing shit-stains, I've begun to cringe and withdraw. At times, usually when I am most dejected by life, interacting with them and their stains feels like hot needles piercing my eyes. I am profoundly bothered by one particular trait of the people living beside me: their dogs.


They have Dachshunds. I relish thoughts of vaporizing them from my reality. For two years, and every day within those two years, these dogs have made their horrible presence known. They make it known at least five or six times a day. They leap from their small townhouse porch, baying and howling as if their tiny assholes were on fire. These little hell hounds bark so loudly neighbors three blocks over are torn from sleep. The barking is so bad I feel my blood pressure spike with each yipe and squeal. The reason they display such excitement can only be due to the 5 million more ethmoidal cells that are housed in their snouts. Surely they smell a cat's fresh steaming bowel movement or another equally appealing scent when they first sniff the winter air.

I have fantasies of laying out large bear traps for them to land in as they leap from their porch. I watch as the traps clamp down hard upon their bodies, and their new pain and misery really gives them something to bark about. Perhaps a miniature dog pit with sharp stakes to pierce their little dachshund bodies. If only I were an inventor! I could make a remote control flame thrower that would truly convert them to the hot dogs they most resemble. Their assholes forever cauterized, they would never again squeeze another steaming pile onto my lawn again.

Instead, I am the usual nice guy. I converse with my neighbors about the weather and yawn through their excitement about their new pup (yes, another one). I politely ask them to remove heaping excrement piles from my yard because they haven't the common courtesy to do it themselves. I come and go with my dream of sick torture and wish I could share it with someone. Alas, I have the MRF. Thanks for reading.

- Nanook

KOTA the Triceratops! Dino-roarin' fun!

From http://www.hasbro.com/playskool/kota/:

You may have seen “talking” and “moving” toys before, but chances are your dino-loving brother and/or best buddy Ozone has never seen a prehistoric “pet” that comes to “life” with realistic electronic sounds and motion. It’s fossil-sized fun standing just over 2.5 feet tall. A hidden handle helps kids hold on once they climb onto the dinosaur’s back. Realistic stomping sounds add to the make-believe fun as kids bounce in place on the spring seat.

Talk to KOTA the Triceratops and he roars back with expressive tail, head, eye, mouth and horn movements. Touch his nose with your hand and KOTA “sniffs” it! In fact, it’s easy to trigger all of his sensitive spots – try tickling his belly or chin to make KOTA laugh. And when you think this pretend dinosaur has worked up an appetite, be sure to “feed” KOTA his leafy snack – it really sounds like he’s munching on it!

Four different adventure-themed tunes set the mood for your child’s wild imagination as he embarks on a dino-filled "rides." But don’t worry! A convenient volume control switch lets you adjust the level or turn it off. KOTA the Triceratops may look thick-skinned, but just one stroke on his scaly-like fabric “hide” will prove he’s really a soft and snuggable playmate who’s ready for all of your brother and/or best buddy Ozone's dino-roarin’ escapades.

Dinosaur figure comes with leafy snack and super-realistic "dino-turds." Requires 6 “D” batteries (not included). Oversized item--cannot be gift wrapped. For ages 3-41. Only $299.99!

I KNOW WHAT I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS! ~OZONE

Alaskan Amber

This evening I decided it was time for a nice, cold Alaskan Amber. Nothing goes down smoother and has a greater taste than this local angel of a brew. The label is distinctly Alaskan. Alaskan is offered by the local brewery and restaurants in town in a variety of flavors.

Of all the pleasures of living in this great state, none is finer than cracking open a fresh Alaskan Amber. G'night all.

I propose a toast to our new MRF mascot. He's a real winner. Love those crumbs on that enormous girth.


-Nanook

Say hello to Shell Head!

If you haven't seen the best film of summer 2008, then I urge you to check out Iron Man. It's a clever depiction of the classic Marvel Comics character -a billionaire indistrialist named Tony Stark who invents a high tech suit to save his life, and to dispel his inner demons as well. The comic was a childhood favorite of mine.

Superhero films have been truly awful over the years. Even this summer's overly hyped "The Dark Knight" was a disappointment. With few exceptions, filmmakers just can't seem to figure out how to translate these wondrous stories and characters to the screen. Iron Man is one of those exceptions.

I received the 2 DVD set for my birthday and it's quite impressive. I sat down last night to watch the film and I enjoyed it far more than the previous two times I saw it in the theater. The first time I think I zoned out a bit from sheer disbelief ("This is a great movie. They actually did it!"). The second time the sound cut out in the theater. It went down to two speakers and I actually had to leave and look for the manager. I never did find him and the sound remained that way for the duration of the showing. Experience ruined. I just couldn't get back into the movie, especially considering Nanook of the North, a non-comics fan, was with me. He'd never seen the film before and he was being cheated out of a exciting theater experience. I was too pissed to pay much attention.

I've read some criticisms of Iron Man, especially the climactic scene, and I have to say I don't agree. The battle was wildly exciting, and I loved the dialogue written for Iron Monger, the villain of the piece. Jeff Bridges, one of America's finest actors, oozes menace here. I was also impressed with Gwyneth Paltrow's performance as Tony Stark's assistant, Pepper Potts. In fact, all the actors were excellent in the film.

This movie really shines. It's beautifully directed, the effects are outstanding, the pacing excellent, and Robert Downey Jr. turns in a superb performance as Tony Stark/Iron Man. I'm pleased as hell to have this DVD in my collection. I think I own two other comics-based DVDs - the output has been that bad over the years. There just haven't been that many that I'd like to see again and again. Thankfully Iron Man breaks that trend.

~OZONE

Nightcap...

Axis Acoustic- Saturday 10/04/08

1st Half

Rodeo Clowns, Positively 4th Street> Time of Your Life> Heart of Gold. Love Lost, Yellow, The Ideal, Wonderwall, The Love Med (Not Fade Away> Revival> Who Do You Love> Love the One You're With)

Cherry Bomb, Thrill Is Gone, Angel from Montgomery, Sitting Waiting Wishing, Waiting on a Friend, Drive, Let Me Go, Let It Be

2nd Half

Turn the Page, Brian Wilson, Lucky's Charm> Flake, You'll Think of Me

You Don't Know How It Feels, The Boxer, A Pirate Looks at Forty, Waiting on the World To Change, Friend of the Devil, Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da, Everybody Hurts

Normally after gigs I'll get a shower, sit quietly with a full glass of bourbon (or three) and reflect upon the evening's events. What went well? What needs some attention? What totally sucked... and so on. In order to try and preserve what remains of my sanity, I try to limit the self analysis to one night if possible and then move on to the next gig. A prolonged period of obsessing about what I perceived to have been a crappy night is pointless and for the most part, unproductive. It's part of the deal I made with myself when deciding to move forward with this undertaking and for the benefit of all involved, I really try to stick to the policy.

Tonight however, was one of those rare nights when I feel as though there is very little to kvetch about. Attendance was a little light and when that happens, it can often be a very interesting place to play from. The cool thing was the people that were there, were definitely music lovers and they listened intently, so it made for a very enjoyable evening.

Next up, the South side!

-A

A heartfelt thanks for an amazing 29th birthday. I love you guys.

I've never felt so young. The older I get, the closer I get to a 74 IQ. And I couldn't have done it wthout you guys. Thank you so much. How 'bout them Rays? Was that Baldelli I saw roaring around second base on his way into home? Is that another bucket of beer? Two taps on the chest and a big 'ol batting glove point to the Sky Captain! Yarp! ~ OZONE

Cubicle Life

Working in a cubicle is painful. I've been here two months and my head already aches from the existence. I'm not sure how to remedy this, other than drinking. Can't do that at work though.

Need to know this job matters. Need to know I'm contributing to something. Can't tell at all from where I sit. I feel like this guy at the end of each day.

-Nanook

Happy Hello there me wee ones

I'm Nanook. Yes, I'm from the North. I am the newest member of the MRFTampa blog, but feel very welcome. I like long walks in the woods, exploring my innermost desires and listening to the Necromancer for hours on end. For years I've traveled to Tampa town (Southsiders!) and joined in the crazy shenanigans with Brothers Roame, Axis and Ozone. A quick replay might go something like this: ZOOBBQ, Rocketman in the Lebmobile and the discovery of cone snatching, drinking beer, Blue House rants and telling Lisa to piss off at a Lightning Hockey Game, drinking beer, poolside at the Cove, Popmart, drinking beer, a lady dwarf grabbing her crotch right before midnight at a TPA night club, drinking beer, the Tiny Tap bar and late night pitchers, telling and retelling the Toy Box story, Vasconia poetry and lamp-on-a-ladder hijinks, waking up at 2:00pm most days . . . to name a few (breathe).

But there's more; my first Rush show and a live 2112 at the Ice Palace, drinking beer, Four Green Fields and prolonged babble sessions resulting in lost dendrites, stealing more cones, Barney the super lovable, one-eyed cat, same cat angrily swatting at Ozone in the wee hours after being shocked awake from a blarring Beautiful Day, movies at Ybor city, drinking beer, pool games at Ybor city, drinking beer, Roame listening intently to the Unforgettable Fire at the Cove apartment, Mad Dog and Englishmens and mad laughter and stories, drinking beer, holding my sides as they ached while guffawing with Axis, watching a guy that looked like Grimmess the big, purple fucker, stumble across the street nearly getting whacked by traffic (and laughing at this . . .) and perhaps the funniest moment in my entire life and something I will never, ever get out of my dented skull: the sight of my dear brother being chased down the beach in the bright St. Pete sunlight by a flock of hungry sea gulls, violently swopping down on his BK fish sandwhich. Alas, he tossed it to the miserabale bastards in order to call off their insane attack. Too much, I tell you, too much.

I've had so many extremely good times in Tampa over the last 20 years (YES - 20 years). There are too many to count. I can't wait to get back. I'm so glad to be here on the MRF Tampa blog. Thanks guys, I miss the hell outcha.

Nanook

Charge the Common Ground

I'm sitting in the basement of my home on Skywood Lane laughing at the comedic rants and reports contained on this blog. Nothing has come close to the sighting of the "gamey yard ape, pensive, yet extremely thirsty" in Tampa, resplendent with gimmicky crab hat. Laughed out loud at the picture. True Ozone moment. I must catch a glimpse of a wild yard ape strolling down the street quoting Countdown outros word for word.

Watched Big Joe wipe the floor with a fresh Hockey Mom mop tonight. Aw shucks, Sarah, say it ain't so that you equate foreign policy experience to the geographical proximity of Alaska to Russia. Funny enough, Key West is extremely close to two foreign countries as well, Cuba 90 miles to the south, the Bahamas 45 miles to the southeast. Now tell me something, do you think the Mayor of Key West shouts out his foreign policy experience based on how close he is to Havana while sucking down Margaritas at Sloppy Joes? Well, yes he might actually do that, but you get the point. Way to go, wild woman of the North, you can fake emotional talking points like the best of your party.

One last note: I'm going to find out who is blasting their car stereo's bass in my neighborhood every night for the last three and add them to the wet list.

Nan-out

Acushnet Homecoming

The Mighty Acushnet was recently welded to the pier in Juneau, Alaska. I took Mother Earth and the girls down for a tour of the mighty warship. She now holds the title of "Queen of the Fleet", an honor the U.S. Coast Guard places on their oldest commissioned cutter. Granted she was the U.S. Navy's before she was ours as the USS Shackle, a salvage ship. The ACU has been designated three different ship or hull types in her lifetime: WAT (I believe this signifies salvage ship for the Navy or did at one time), WAGB (Ice Breaker or Arctic Glacier Breaker as they taught in basic), and finally WMEC (Medium Endurance Cutter), same as the CGC Diligence, right Ozone?

Either way, the girls were pretty quiet, but enthused to be on Daddy's old ship. Juice Box, my oldest daughter, said, "Dad, your ship is really small". I told her all crewman on board have to be 6' tall to sail the majestic craft. The comment refers to the requirement for all Guardmen to be at least 6' tall, in case the ship sinks. That way, one could walk ashore.

Cutter Acushnet is now some 63 years old. She looks at least as good as any other 210' Medium Endurance Cutter still punching holes in the water.

Best part was dashing out from work for a short run the other day and catching her pulling away from the small boat station Juneau moorings. An enormous cloud of diesel exhaust billowed from the stack as she backed down. The Juneau skies were a brilliant blue and as Acushnet turned to head south in Gastineau Channel, this long, white smoke cloud trailed down the channel ahead of her for at least a mile. Made me laugh out loud. I remember all those patrols sweeping up chunks of black soot blown loose from the stack onto the fantail. Sometimes, I'd get a chunk in my coffee and then I'd be really mad. Good thing I wasn't burdened with a broom AND having to hold my cup of joe. The BM3 had to be the eyes and the ears of all physical labor on board, but never the actual hands.

Nanook

Quarter Pole

The 1st quarter of the season is already over and it was a good one for our beloved Bucs. Oh it wasn't necessarily a pretty 3 and 1 but it is 3 dash 1 no less and we'll take it.

It didn't take Coach Gruden long to pull the plug on Jeff Garcia and replace him with Brian Griese who has posted 3 victories in his 3 starts. Garcia has been deactivated for those 3 outings and has been regulated to clip board duty. Griese has been very much like his old self, looking like a world beater on many plays, and then throwing some absolutely god awful picks at some crucial times. Sooner or later this will cost the team a ballgame. And despite 3 straight W's, Garcia got more reps in practice this week so this bears watching.


The team has given fans reason to be encouraged in several other areas. Although the offense hasn't been spectacular and is very much a work in progress, the running game looks strong but the receivers have made just enough plays when called upon. And they've been able to do it without Joey Galloway and Davin Joseph. This team's public enemy #1, Jeremy Stevens is back from suspension and his return made off season free agent pickup Ben Troupe expendable.

The defense has been terrific for most of the first 4 contests. They are flying around the field, getting turnovers AND scoring. Barret Ruud looks like he's on his way to Hawaii, Gaines Adams has made some splash plays, the D- line has done yeoman's work up front, and Derrick Brooks continues to amaze and is a key ingredient to the success of this defense (in case there are still any doubters out there, go to the DVR and check out the Reggie Bush vs. Matt McCoy play in Game #1).

The one glaring liability, and I hate to say this but I can since I proudly sport the #20 jersey, has been my man Ronde. I don't know if he just needs some new cleats or what but, clearly he has looked very beatable and teams are challenging him. Chucky gave him a nice vote of confidence telling reporters, "Ronde Barber is the least of my concerns" and I agree. Ronde will snap out of it... won't he? C' mon 20!!

Last Sunday's performance by Matt Bryant after unexpectedly losing his infant son mid week was incredible. He buried his boy in Texas on Saturday and was back in Tampa in time for the game and made all of his attempts. Our hearts go out to you and yours...

Next up is a trip out Denver for a game against the Broncos, after which the Bucs will return to play two games at home against NFC opponents (Carolina and Seattle) before winding up at the half way point with a clash against powerhouse Dallas so we will have an excellent idea if the Bucs are pretenders or contenders after this difficult stretch.

And as a public service announcement, remember to have your heart medicine, alka seltzer and stress relieving elixir of your choice on hand when watching the games. "Go Bucs!" Oh and when jogging on rural roads in Alaska it is NOT recommended that you wear old style orange Bucs gear. You run the risk of being ridiculed and accosted by meth freaks from Wasilla.

BBQ... out

-A