Black Friday

"When Black Friday comes I'm gonna stake my claim..."

I'm not sure Steely Dan had holiday shopping in mind when they penned the tune Black Friday, but the words seem to be taking on new meaning.

"When Black Friday comes I'll stand down by the door, and catch the grey men when they dive from the fourteenth floor..."

To my knowledge noone has taken a flying leap from the 14th floor... yet, but this year's festivities did feature a trampling and two shooting deaths. MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY! I can just hear it now, "get your grubby hands off that Nintendo or I'm gonna blow your ass to bits! (Pause) Blam Blam Blam!!" Every year I am rousted from a sound sleep as QJ removes herself from a perfectly warm, cozy bed at some ungodly hour to ready herself for her favorite sport- contact shopping. Mind you, Christmas to her is not mainly about gifts and the other excesses of the season. But for reasons I can't began to understand, she does truly enjoy immersing herself in the middle of the annual frenzy of foaming freaks in hot pursuit of the latest and greatest gadgets money can buy. In years past, one might expect to be on the receiving end of a curse word or two from someone while jockeying for position at the electronics counter. And it was also common place to have to keep both eyes open in case it was necessary to take evasive action to avoid being steamrolled by a grandma with attitude using her shopping cart as a weapon. Ahhh but as Americans will do, it was time to take it- lower? The trampling was predictable, sooner or later that was going to happen when you turn a mob of blood thirsty yahoos loose in a Super Wal Mart; there are bound to be problems. But opening fire inside a freaking Toys R Us? Now that was something!

Next year the Queen is not leaving without a bullet proof vest!!

Mark my words, we're on our way to pat downs and metal detectors if this craziness continues.

And I will be watching from afar.

-A

Happy Thanksgiving...

A glorious day in T- town!

I am so thankful for my family and friends who mean the world to me. I often contemplate how lucky I am to have such wonderful people in my life. Now seems like a good time to say it loud and proud. All the best y'all .. much love!

I am also most grateful that perhaps the worst regime in American history is finally nearing the end of the line. Sadly, yesterday's tragic events in India serve as a stark reminder that due to the imperialistic foreign policy approach that we have employed, anti American sentiment seems to have reached an all time high and real change is in order moving ahead. While George W was pardoning his last turkey and paying lip service to the country he's left battered beyond recognition, the President and 1st lady elect were on the South side Chicago handing out bags of food to teach their girls the true meaning of the holiday.

Bush even had the audacity to "thank the American people for the tremendous privilege of serving as president". Really? Sure fooled us! But, as I read the AP story about the Obamas in the St. Pete Times this morning I felt and enormous sense of pride that this time, I think we've gotten it right. Time will tell of course but, it sure is nice to have some hope during these tough times.

-A

Howdy, I'm Jack Asshole Harris

I was out retrieving supplies this morning and I had the misfortune to tune into 970WFLA's morning shit-show starring local Tampa fuckstain Jack Harris. In his "election rehash", Jack's opinion was that if John McCain had reintroduced Jeremiah Wright into his campaign dialogue in the last few weeks before the election, the tide would have turned against Obama, and Grandpa McFuckstick would've won the election. I shit you not. I heard it with my own hairy Irish ears. I wish I could quote this insipid, scrotum-faced announcer, but I was too busy screaming and bouncing my head off the steering wheel to remeber it word for word. Trust me, that's what he said. How his studio mates put up with this sort of idiocy on a daily basis is beyond me.

I've had enough of Jack Harris. This drooling submental has been stinking up our airwaves for decades with his douchey, half-assed "opinions". Now, I can't realistically expect much in the way of intelligent radio discourse from the station that airs Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity, but come on now 970, Jack Harris makes Moe from the Three Stooges look like Stephen Fucking Hawking. By the Jeremiah Wright comment alone, you just know this asshole is a Republican. I guess that's why he still has a job after all these years.

Enough already. Howdy, Jack Harris, you're on the WET LIST, you chinless, burbling motherfucker. ~Ozone

MRF MIA

This just in: an All Points Bulletin is being issued throughout the farthest reaches of the galaxy. The MRF blog has experienced the mother of all meltdowns and there appears to be only one survivor.

Suspiciously the darkness began shortly after the blog seemed to have gotten its legs about it and was about ready for public consumption. I fear the worst may have happened!

Consider the final transmissions of the Big 3:

Nanook-
"Watched Big Joe wipe the floor with a fresh Hockey Mom mop tonight..."
"Way to go, wild woman of the North, you can fake emotional talking points like the best of your party."

Roame-
"McCain's solution to ease the price at the pump? More domestic drilling. That's like sticking a piece of chewing gum in a leaking dike and hoping it holds. McCain doesn't stir hope in me, just more apprehension and anxiety."

Ozone-
"Finally, after 8 horrid years of right-wing destruction, there is hope for this noble experiment we call the United States of America."

Perhaps their words were ascertained by one of the Bush/Cheney super spy computers and these voices of dissent were subsequently blasted out of the blogosphere and beamed into oblivion never to be heard from again!!

I will continue to leave the light on for my dearly departed brothers in hopes that they may one day find their way back through the storm. This is not the final chapter

-A

Would you just go away already?!?!

You, Todd, Willow, Piper, Pecker and your soon to be son in law... just go!

Here's the link to the Palin Turkey Pardon fiasco, in case you missed it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IuZAo41vf1E.

There really aren't words to describe this woman.

She is the lesser half of a tandem that received how many tens of millions of votes for the highest office in the land. Why? What the HELL were those people thinking?????????????????????????

Can you imagine this train wreck representing us upon the world's stage?

Holy sweet Jesus!

-A

November5.org

This is a non partisan effort and is worth checking out.

Here's the link:
http://vimeo.com/2156858

"American history has shown only when the people organize and focus on their government do we get any changes".

-Ralph Nader

Late,
A

Missing Person Report...

Wanted: Favorite player MUST be returned to One Buc Palace ASAP! NO questions asked.

Who are you and what have you done with Ronde Barber?

Description: shut down corner with miraculous ball hawking skills and a knack for big plays (see Eagles pick @ bottom of page). A sure tackler with a vast knowledge of the game and nasty on field disposition. Enjoys inflicting psychological torment and physical pain on the opposition and is known as one of the best corner blitzers in NFL history.

Last seen: 2007 season

Suspects & motive: In an effort to maintain their competitive advantage at all costs against NFC foes, the New York football Giants are under suspicion for kidnapping Ronde, holding him at an undisclosed location and replacing him with twin brother Tiki.

A generous reward has been issued by Montague Kiffin of Tampa, Florida for Ronde's return.

"Give me back my Ronde!"

Sincerely,

Mel Gibson

-A

Shit canned!

It's official! The Lighting are once again one of the biggest jokes in the NHL.

Bolts fizzle versus the mighty Wings...

Almost 20 games into the season and there's virtually nothing happening on the Hockey Post largely due to the fact the home team has struggled mightily. It was more of the same at the Forum Thursday night as the Bolts, with a little help from the guys in striped shirts, blew a 2 goal lead and lost 4-3 to the defending Stanley Cup Champion Red Wings. After being introduced as the Lightning's new head coach Barry Melrose went on record saying he wanted his team to be tough to play against and so far they've been anything but. They've struggled to find continuity and seem to be sorely lacking the "courage" Melrose said he expected to be a hallmark of this club. They have found some degree of consistency however. The Lightning are consistently being out shot, outworked (giving up 39 shots on goal against Detroit while putting a measly 18 shots against Chris Osgood) and have consistently snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. The Bolts gave their fans a little dose of what was to come after tanking the home opener against Carolina and have proved that they are quite capable of pulling some epic choke jobs. I'm no expert but it seems as though maybe NOW would be a good time to start getting this thing straightened out here. Sitting 13th out of 15 teams in the Eastern Conference flat out sucks. This is moving beyond the stage of "a work in progress" and is looking like they could be "DOA" by Christmas if they can't get things aren't ironed out in a hurry. They'll get another crack at the Canes in their barn this weekend. And I do mean barn; their Zamboni is modeled after a freaking John Deer lawn tractor! Not even in our days at the Fair Grounds were we that po-dunk!!

Where's Chris Kontos when we need him?

"Game on!"

-A

Edit:

There 's been a slight development.

Please refer to new post.

Thank you,

Management

Celebrating Scorpio...

Whatchaaaaaaa!!!!

After enjoying a wonderful Mediterranean dinner at Byblos (belly dancer and all) we made a South side swing by Mad Dogs before heading over to Four Green Fields to meet up with the rest of the gang who had been over at Lime imbibing towers of beer. Needless to say we really put a cap on things at the Fields.

Here are some pics:

The Queen and his Roameness...

Ozone, Dickey & Axis (aka the dork on the right)

Roame and the coolest Aquarian, his lovely bride...

All the birthday Scorps up on the stage with Pat...

Classic stuff; enjoyed it y'all!

Much love,

A

Dear Santa...

Apparently riding a euphoric wave over having voted for the winning candidate in his school's Presidential Election, a certain 7 year old figured that while he was hot he'd go to work on his Christmas list. Seemingly under the impression that since things were going oh so well, gifts would surely begin to magically fall out of the sky and he proceeded to bang out an impressive short list, just for starters mind you.

Observe the Boy Wonder's wish list which I have transcribed below:

Dear Santa,

For Christmas I want a go cart and I-touch and Madden '09 and MLB '09. I want catcher's gear for baseball. A coke machine. Season tickets for the Rays and going in the dugout and be the ball boy.

Did you get all that? That was go cart, I-touch, Madden and MLB '09 and catcher's gear. Well, a few of those are possibilities. But a freaking COKE MACHINE? Just what we need, the young lad all jacked up on and endless supply of sugar and caffeine. I wonder if he considered the logistical challenges of trying to get a sled up into full flight with a gigantic Coke Machine on board before making his request? Doubt it. Nevermind trying to fit that bitch down the chimney! And then there are the Rays tix. Not just tickets to a game or maybe a couple of games... oh no, not blondie. SEASON tickets Jack! I didn't even know what a season ticket was until I was 22 years old. Amazing. And I wasn't aware that Santa is in the business of delivering people employment opportunities. I can't remember the last time I saw ball boy on the Career Builder web site but you can't blame a kid for trying.

You gotta love um!

-A

Howdy, I'm Jack Harris... douchebag

I was out retrieving supplies this morning and I had the misfortune to tune into 970WFLA's morning shit-show starring local Tampa fuckstain Jack Harris. In his "election rehash", Jack's opinion was that if John McCain had reintroduced Jeremiah Wright into his campaign dialogue in the last few weeks before the election, the tide would have turned against Obama, and Grandpa McFuckstick would've won the election. I shit you not. I heard it with my own hairy Irish ears. I wish I could quote this insipid, scrotum-faced announcer, but I was too busy screaming and bouncing my head off the steering wheel to remeber it word for word. Trust me, that's what he said. How his studio mates put up with this sort of idiocy on a daily basis is beyond me.

I've had enough of Jack Harris. This drooling submental has been stinking up our airwaves for decades with his douchey, half-assed "opinions". Now, I can't realistically expect much in the way of intelligent radio discourse from the station that airs Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity, but come on now 970, Jack Harris makes Moe from the Three Stooges look like Stephen Fucking Hawking. By the Jeremiah Wright comment alone, you just know this asshole is a Republican. I guess that's why he still has a job after all these years.

Enough already. Howdy, Jack Harris, you're on the WET LIST, you chinless, burbling motherfucker. ~Ozone

Finally!

Finally, after 8 horrid years of right-wing destruction, there is hope for this noble experiment we call the United States of America. After 21 months (the longest political campaign in US history), the people have spoken. Well, the Electoral College has spoken, but you get the point. America is a republic, not a democracy. Still, the people, especially the young people, the minority people, turned out in droves in an effort to right the course of this nation. They never voted in significant numbers before, but tonight we witnessed a sea change - a realization from within. For once, they cared enough and believed enough. They came to the realization that they actually have a stake in this country after all. And it made all the difference. See what happens when you vote?




I spoke to Brothers Roame, Nanook and Axis on the phone throughout the night as it all went down. There was a real sense of joy and excitement, a real feeling of, dare i say it? HOPE. It is a night I will never forget. From the bright faces of the crowd in Grant Park greeting President-Elect Barack Obama, to the sour, booing faces of the venemous McCain supporters in Arizona, to the teeming crowds at the very gates of the White House, my eyes were filled with indelible images that will mark in history the very fabric of this nation as it stands tonight, for ill and for better. I have never loved my country more than I have this night. The very idea of America is renewed. ~ OZONE

Sweeping Generalizations...

The McCain/Palin Constituency: A photo essay in 3 parts

Constituent #1

"SG" name: "Thurston Howell IV"

Income bracket: $250K+

Residence: Coastal communities/ gated subdivisions (Home= 4200 sq. ft under air)

Favorite magazine: Forbes
Prized possessions: 54' Hatteras Convertible Sport Fisher, bright red Ferrari Enzo F60, brand new set of custom fitted Callaway golf clubs
Periodontal profile: a full compliment of 32 teeth (professionally whitened of course)
Ideological slogan: "Drill Baby Drill!"
Commentary: As much as I dislike it, I get it. Voting is purely a business decision; as always, its about the almighty dollar for the Howells

Constituent #2

"SG" name: Pammy Pious

Income bracket: $30K+

Residence: Middle Town USA

Favorite magazine: Faith & Family

Prized possession: Blessed mother Virgin Mary statue in side garden, lawn jockey in back yard
Periodontal profile: ranges from 25+ coffee stained choppers to ill fitting, lipstick smeared dentures
Ideological slogan: "Sarah Palin is filled with the holy spirit!"
Commentary: Say it with me genius once and for all... you are NOT Joe the Plumber!!!

Constituent #3

"SG" name: Joe 12 Pack

Income bracket: tough to determine due to odd jobs under the table; over/under is around $6K

Residence: inhabits predominantly Caucasian locales

Favorite magazine: Guns & Ammo
Prized possession: King of the Hill starter kit (wife beater, case of Alamo beer, carton of generic menthols and the latest version of Boomhauer's English for Dummies)
Periodontal profile: roughly 7 and a half chic lets per person
Ideological slogan: "I ain't votin' for no nigra.."

Commentary: Don't you just love this precious little tree ornament?!

I know I know, "Heritage NOT Hate", right? Unfortunately, deep rooted bigotry will likely compel many to vote against their own socio economic well being.

Be afraid, be very afraid!

-A

*please note that sweeping generalizations are for entertainment purposes ONLY and are not part of a healthy. well balanced life style. :)

Moved QJ's studio this weekend...

MRF on the move:

Roame in Hank's bed (Ozone @ the wheel)...

Roame catching a few winks at the stop light...

A beautiful sight after a hard day's work...

Annnnnnd GONE!!

-A